A Letter Written in 2070

A perspective on living conditions on Earth in 60 years time.


Document published in the magazine
"Crónica de los Tiempos"
April 2002.



We are in the year 2070.
I just turned 50 years old, but I look 85.
I experience major kidney problems, because I drink very little water.
I think that I don’t have much more time to live.
Today, I am the oldest person living in this society.



I remember, when I was 5 years old everything was very different.
There were lots of trees in the parks, houses had beautiful gardens, and I could enjoy long baths and stay in the shower for one whole hour.
Now, we have to clean ourselves by using disposable towelettes moisturized with mineral oil.



Before, women were proud of their beautiful hair.
Now, we have to shave our head to keep it clean without using water.
Before, my father used to wash his car with water that came out of a hose.
Today, children find it hard to believe that one ever could use water to perfom such a task.



I remember the many warnings: ”DON’T WASTE WATER”
But nobody paid attention.
People assumed that water was unlimited.
Today, rivers, dams, lagoons, and under-ground water are all either irremediably polluted or completely dried up.



The landscape that surrounds us has turned into nothing more than an immense desert.
Gastro-intestinal infections, and skin and urinary tract diseases have now become the main causes of death.



Industry is paralysed, and the jobless rate reached a dramatic level.
Desalination plants are the main employers.
They give one drinking water instead of a salary.



People are constantly being mugged for water on the deserted streets.
80% of the food is synthetic.


Before, it was recommended that an adult drink 8 glasses of water a day.
Today, I am allowed only half a glass.


Since we cannot wash our clothes, we throw them, which increases the amount of trash.
We had to go back to using septic tanks, just like in the past century, because the sewage system stopped working due to the lack of water.


People look scary: their bodies are weak; parched by extreme dehydration; covered by sores caused by ultraviolet rays that the atmosphere can no longer filter since the ozone layer is depleted.


Due to the dryness of her skin, a young 20 year-old woman looks more like 40.
Scientists perform all types of research and investigations, but there is no solution in sight.
We cannot produce water.
The lack of trees reduces the amount of oxygen available, which in turn lowers the intellectual quotient of up-coming generations.


The morphology of many individuals’ spermatozoa was altered...
…which results in children being born with all sorts of deficiencies, mutations and malformations.


The government even makes us pay a tax for the air we breathe: 137 m3 per adult per day. [31,102 gallons]
Those who can’t pay the tax are expulsed from the “ventilated areas” that are equipped with gigantic mechanical lungs, powered by solar energy.
The air supplied in the “ventilated areas” is not of very good quality, but at least one can breathe there.
The average age is 35.


Some countries succeeded in preserving a few islands of vegetation with their own streams. These areas are closely monitored by the army.
Water has become a rare commodity, a highly sought after treasure, infinitely more valuable than gold or diamonds.


Here, though, there are no more trees because it hardly ever rains. And whenever it does rain, it is acid rain that comes down.
There are no more seasons. Climatic changes such as the greenhouse effect and the polluting activities we indulged in during the twentieth century took care of that.
We were warned about the need to take care of our environment, but nobody bothered.


When my daughter asks me to tell her how it was when I was young, I describe the beauty of the forests.
I tell her about the rain, about the flowers, about how pleasurable it was to bathe, to fish in the rivers and the lakes, and being able to drink as much water as one desired.
I tell her about how healthy people used to be.


She asks me:
- Daddy! Why is there no water anymore ?
I feel a lump in my throat...


I can’t help feeling guilty, because I belong to the generation that completed the destruction of our environment by simply not taking seriously any of the warnings ... and there were so many of them!
I belong to the last generation who could have made a difference, but who chose not to act.


Today, our children pay the hefty price.


Quite frankly, I think that, within short, life on this Earth will no longer be possible, because the destruction of our environment reached its point of no return.


How I wish I could go back in time and get the Human race to understand this ...
... at a time when it was still possible for us to do something to save our planet Earth!


Send this letter to all your contacts and contribute, even if it is only by a fraction, to the necessary global awareness on the water issue.

This is no game, it is already our reality. Do it for your children; if you don’t have any yet, maybe you will some day.

Don’t leave them hell as a legacy ... Leave them life!

COSMETIC ANIMAL TESTING: ARE YOU AN INFORMED customer…?

ARE YOU AN INFORMED customer…?

COSMETIC ANIMAL TESTING




They don't want to talk about it. They don't want you to know about it.



But behind the glossy advertising and famous celebrities,



the biggest cosmetics company in the world hides a shameful secret…



L'Oreal does not want to reveal animal testing to their customers, and they certainly don't want to reveal the disgusting range of tests carried out on the animals…






Disgraceful eye irritation tests are conducted by securing rabbits so they are immobile while substances are dropped into their eyes (rabbits are used because they have no tear ducts and therefore cannot relieve the stinging and pain).





Poisoning takes place whereby groups of animals are continually force-fed an ingredient until half of the group die.



Other animals have their skin shaved and scraped until super-sensitive, then the ingredient is applied to test skin reaction - making sure that the poor animal cannot scratch or remove the substance.



It is hard to imagine the pain suffered by these defenseless animals. But we all know how sore it can be when we get something in our eye or our skin is scraped - at least we can immediately do something to relieve the pain.

Think of what it would be like if we were unable to touch or stop the pain, not just for a minute or two but for hours running into days.

It's simply so disgraceful!



L'Oreal is the single biggest obstacle to ending cosmetic testing on animals…









SO… NOW THAT YOU ARE INFORMED.. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHICH PRODUCTS YOU USE…




With your support we can all play a role in putting a stop to the cruelty.

GO ON, MAKE THE RIGHT INFORMED CHOICE NOW

Fundamental Desires

Since our emotional well-being is totally dependent upon what desires we set for ourselves, the management of those desires becomes a crucial skill for maintaining and enhancing that well-being. We can divide our desires into four main groups:

• Objective desires
• Needs
• Beliefs
• Expectations

Each desire that we hold acts as a constraint upon our emotional well-being and so firstly we require a conscious awareness of these desires.

Objective Desires

These are generally real world outcomes of a physical nature, such as acquiring possessions and material resources and achieving certain experiences. Objective desires generally relate to setting things to do and then getting them done. Very often we set desires that we cannot obtain in the moment of desiring them and so the emotional guidance system generates negative emotions because we have not obtained the real world result in that moment. The key to feeling good whilst progressing towards highly sought after desires is to set small objectives that are easy to do in the moment and incrementally take you to final fulfilment of the objective.

Needs

Whenever we create a desire that we can only fulfil through the actions and results of someone or something else then we also create a need. These needs lie at the root of most neurotic behaviour because when we cannot control the fulfilment of our desires through our own personal abilities we start to become a little bit fraught. The level of intensity of that reaction depends upon how much value we put upon the fulfilment of that need in order to feel good, or at least not to feel bad. If we have a lot of needs then we feel negative emotions most of the time because we have little or no control over the fulfilment of those desires in reality and we will receive constant negative feedback and negative emotions from our guidance system because of this.

Beliefs

In order to deal with unknown causes, a lack of knowledge or uncertain outcomes we often create or adopt beliefs. These beliefs are mental constructs that we hold onto in order to have some sense of predictability, reason or sustenance for those times when the odds seem stacked against us. Consequently they also set up desires against which we measure real world results and so as a result we must take great care over what beliefs we create and what beliefs we choose to adopt. Holding unquestioned beliefs can lead to a lot of difficulty in attempting to reconcile real world results against beliefs that have not correctly predicted or caused a desired result. The best way to deal with this is to take a scientific approach and turn beliefs into theories that can be tested. The results of these tests will give better systems of prediction and causality to live by. Theories or beliefs that cannot be conclusively tested should not be depended upon to fulfil desires. In this way we remain level headed and do not set desires that cannot be fulfilled and hence we protect our emotional well-being.

Expectations

Expectations act as constraints upon our assessment and interpretation of an event. They set up little desires as to the quality and nature of what we do or what we experience. Consequently they often set up conflicting desires that make fulfilment difficult, if not totally impossible, and can often lead to not feeling good even when an important objective desire has been fulfilled. They tend to determine whether we feel satisfied once an objective desire has been fulfilled.

We tend to absorb or evolve a lot of our expectations rather than consciously forming them. We decide on “what’s right and what’s wrong” by observing and picking up signals from the people and culture around us as well as from personal experience on what makes a satisfying result. Unlike objective desires, needs or beliefs, things that we can readily identify and change, we often don’t become aware of our expectations until they result in negative emotions triggered by our emotional guidance system due to non-fulfilment. At this point it is too late to counteract them before they occur but once recognised we can change the ‘must have’ expectations to preferences. We do this by thinking, “Although I would have preferred Factor A to have occurred it didn’t and I accept that reality. Even so, I still fulfilled my prime desire and a lot of other preferences.”

User Manual

Unfortunately, we are not born with a user manual that tells us what all the emotional warning signs are caused by. As a result, few of us know the root cause of our emotional upsets and so we spend vast quantities of time and effort reacting to our emotions and seeking relief from them. This is ineffective because without getting to the root cause we solve nothing and so the symptoms come back again and again and again. Conscious management of desires to ensure that desires set are desires that can be fulfilled brings massive relief from upset and dealing with upset. Once you do that consistently you free up time and resource to develop the capabilities that enhance your ability to fulfil greater desires.

Expert from: Fundamental Insights Into Better Living

Mapping your life path

While a career may play an important role in your life, it is not the sole, or even the most important aspect of your future. Many people put their all into career development and neglect other aspects of their life which as a result can create feelings of emptiness and loneliness. It is a great feeling to excel in your chosen career but in all reality your work is simply what you do, it is not the center of your life. Your life will be much more fulfilling if you view your career or your work as a means of support for your life rather than seeing it as the center of your life or your purpose. Think about it. If your career is what you live for, what are you going to do when you retire or if you become disabled and can’t work? Will your life lose all its meaning?

Achieving balance in your life can help to avoid complete devastation. There are several areas of your life that require attention. These areas fall into five broad categories:

1. Personal

2. Professional

3. Familial

4. Spiritual

5. Community

The personal areas of your life deal with your needs, desires and passions – the things that give you personal satisfaction.
This area may include things like physical fitness, your home and surroundings, travel, recreational activities, pets, friends, romance, your social life, your appearance, and so forth. Some people are somewhat selfish and put their personal needs and desires above all else, but many people sacrifice their personal needs in order to fulfill their responsibilities in all other aspects of their life. Neither of these extremes are healthy. Personal needs and desires deserve adequate attention and you should not feel guilty for putting your personal needs above others at times. At the same time, you should not be selfish and inflexible to the point that others are negatively affected.

The professional aspects of your life may bring you personal satisfaction, but there is a fine line between personal and professional areas of your life.
It is not uncommon for people who derive personal satisfaction from their careers to become workaholics and for those who do not find their work to be personally satisfying to become lazy and unmotivated. Again, these are both extremes that should be avoided. Professional development and being the best that you can be in your chosen career makes you feel good about yourself and will likely lead to career advancement which will enable you to provide the financial support that you need to fulfill other needs in your life. This is good as long as there is a balance and other aspects of your life are not neglected.

Familial aspects of your life deal with your family (Both the family you have now and the family you may have in the future including a spouse, children and maybe eventually grandchildren)
There can be extremes in this area as well as individuals can become so centered on their family that the loss of a family member can make them feel like life is not worth living. On the other hand, a person may neglect the familial aspects of their life taking their family for granted which can eventually leave them filled with guilt for not spending enough time with individuals in their family. Life is busy and individuals have many different things they are involved in. In any case; however, it is important to spend time with your family and to cherish each and every member of your family while you have them.

Spiritual aspects of a person’s life are another area that is sometimes neglected.
Spirituality means different things to different people. To many people religious beliefs are their spiritual focus. Others may gain spiritual satisfaction from nature or just from exercising their personal values or doing good deeds. Whatever your source of spirituality, it is an area of your life that deserves attention.

Community is the fifth area of focus that can lead to fulfillment.
We are all affected by the community in which we live and we all have various levels of concern regarding it. Your community interests may be narrow, with the greatest concerns for your neighborhood or your town, or they may be expansive with concern for the state, the nation or even the world. Whatever your level of community interest is, contributing to the community in any way that you can generates personal satisfaction. This satisfaction may come from voting, serving in a public office, participating in community improvement efforts, or simply voicing your concerns.

Every individual has some interest in these five areas though for some one area may be more intense than others. Whatever the case, you will find happiness and fulfillment from achieving a balance that is right for you between each of these areas of your life. Throughout your life, be cautious about extremes. Be sure that you don’t spend all of your time and energy on one area of your life while neglecting the others. It may not be evident at the time, but if you go to extremes, down the road you will likely have many regrets.





Excerpt From: moneyinstructor.com

What matters most?

All relationships are put to the fire. There is no such thing as a constantly happy couple. There is no such thing as a constantly happy relationship. All of us, at one point in our affairs will have to face a cleansing process which, hopefully, will make better persons out of us.

Let us always remember that our relationships are put to the test to make stronger and better persons out of us. Second to love, the next most important ingredient of a successful relationship is communication. Many would agree that there are certain things in a relationship that are better kept unsaid. But I don't believe in that. The moment we lie about our feelings or the wrong that we have done, we begin to build a wall of bricks around ourselves. Every time we hide something out of fear, we add a brick to that wall.

Soon we will be total strangers to the very people we vowed to be with the rest of our lives. We will start to hurt inside until we can no longer bear the pain. Until we regretfully give up the very relationships that we wanted to keep.

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. If we cannot bravely express our innermost fears, doubts, and insecurities to the people we love then our ties are doomed to fail sooner or later. I would rather be hurt by a person who is honest than be hurt in by someone who betrayed my trust. Many couples suffer in silence because they are afraid that opening up would just make things worst. They keep their feelings to themselves until their affection towards each other diminishes to the point where separation becomes inevitable.

Remember, there is no burden so heavy that it cannot be lightened by an open, honest and peaceful exchange of thoughts and feelings. Fights are inevitable.

Oftentimes, we hurt those we love because we insist on protecting our own feelings. Selfishness is a poison that recklessly kills relationships. It is only when we set aside our pride, arrogance and anger that we are able to deal with raging emotions sensibly and peacefully. There would be a lot of times when we would be tempted to think only of the things that would make us happy. The joy we get from satisfying only our own want is happiness that we deprive others of. Our joy becomes our partner’s pain and our rise becomes their fall.

Some relationships survived difficult trials. By listening to what each of them were trying to say they gained another all important ingredient, understanding. They became aware of what was going on within the heart of their partner because they talked about their feelings. Perhaps selfishness my have been responsible for a fair amount of pain and hurt. But the pain felt was washed away by the fact that love, among all the feelings that they shared, still remained the strongest pillar with which they have built their relationship on.

Indeed, beautiful things will always be built of the foundations of pain. We are strengthened by adversity and seasoned by trials in our relationships. It is not how much pain we feel that matters. What matters is that we are able find a space in our hearts to forgive those who have hurt us. It is not how hard we have stumbled that matters. What matters is that we muster enough courage to stand on our feet and try again. It doesn't matter if we have found love and lost it. What matters more is the joy that feeling brought us. What matters most is that we loved at all.

Great Marriages Require Unencumbered Time

Make no mistake about it – great marriages require unencumbered time!

You have read our musings about the fundamental predisposition of every human being to have time alone – to have time only to their private thoughts. In our book, Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage, we describe privacy and aloneness as one of the “seven secrets of successful marriage.”

In many ways, “unencumbered time” might, in fact, be the “eighth secret.” Everyone needs time alone – that’s an established fact. But just as importantly, everyone needs unencumbered time – time when nothing is planned, nothing is programmed, nothing is on your iCal calendar on your iPhone, and nothing is in the way of your completely spontaneous day!

Successfully married couples know this – there are days in their marriage and in their relationship when nothing should be planned, nothing should be scripted, and nothing should be in the way to a totally and completely unencumbered day.

We have interviewed couple after couple – thousands of them – on our journey around the world in search of the best marriages. Our travels have taken us to five continents, with the sixth coming this next year (we still haven’t figured out how to get to Antarctica to interview successfully married couples!).

On each continent, and with each successfully married couple we have interviewed, there are many truths we have learned, but first and foremost among them is this – unencumbered time is necessary to the health and well being of the best marriages.

Here’s how it works. The next time you and the one you love wake up in the morning, let it be your resolve for that day – plan nothing! Let your whim drive your day. When you get to the fork in the road, take it, as Yogi Berra used to say! Make choices for no particular reason.

To have a day without restrictions and without encumbrances is to have a day you will cherish. In our hectic, fast-paced lives, it is good to know that you can, in fact, slow down, smell the roses, and let your instincts guide your way.

So many marriages are predictable – everything is planned. But the truth is, that is not the way the best marriages go. The best marriages understand that there are days when you need time alone. The best marriages understand that there are days when you need to plan NOTHING!

Being spontaneous is the hallmark of the best marriages we have studied over the years. Placing trust in your collective ability to do what comes naturally and impulsively is, in fact, a wonderful indicator of the quality of your loving relationship. Trust yourself. Trust the one you love. Live dangerously!

Over the 43 years of our marriage, we have come to appreciate our unencumbered days. They have proven to be the best days of our lives together. Why don’t you try having an unencumbered day tomorrow!

By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.

By Dr.. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz, The Official Guides to Marriage

By Jul 6 2009 - 11:14am

The Simple Things Matter in love and marriage. Love well!
By Dr. Charles D. Schmitz and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz

Authors of Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage
Winner of the INDIE Book Awards GOLD Medal for Best Relationship Book
Winner of the 2009 Mom’s Choice Awards GOLD Medal for Most Outstanding Relationships and Marriage Book
2009 Nautilus Book Awards Winner for Relationships

Author's Bio
Now you can order the Doctors' multiple award winning marriage book, Golden Anniversaries: The Seven Secrets of Successful Marriage at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com or www.GoldenAnniversaries.com, the 2009 Mom’s Choice Awards Gold Medal Winner for Most Outstanding Relationships and Marriage Book. With 26 years of research experience on successful marriage and their own 42-year marriage, Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz know what makes marriage work. From their hundreds of interviews with happily married couples, representing 15,000 years of marriage, they've discovered the seven pervasive characteristics present in all successful marriages. Their book exposes the secrets for success through these poignant, real life stories.

Get started with America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts by taking their Marriage Quiz or asking them a question at Marriage Advice or downloading their FREE eBook at Salad Recipes For Love and Health.

During their distinguished careers the Doctors have received some 65 local, state, and national awards; published nearly 350 articles and manuscripts; delivered over 1000 speeches, workshops and public presentations; traveled throughout the world; and appeared on radio and television and in the print media. Dr. Charles D. Schmitz is Dean and Professor of Family and Counseling Therapy at the University of Missouri in St. Louis and Dr. Elizabeth A. Schmitz is President of Successful Marriage Reflections, LLC.

Additional Resources covering Marriage can be found at:


Website Directory for Marriage
Articles on Marriage
Products for Marriage
Discussion Board
Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz, the Official Guides To Marriage

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Article from : selfgrowth.com

4 Ways to Finding Purpose in Life

Finding purpose in life gives you direction and guidance. It channels inner forces and energy to overcome outer circumstances and conditions. It’s at the crux of leading your life, instead of having life lead you.

Are you doing what you love? Are you living on purpose?

Here are 4 ways to finding purpose in life:

.1. Introspection..

Spend some time with yourself. Examine your life and get in touch with those thoughts and feelings that are important to you. Reflect on past experiences and ask yourself:

* When do I feel that my life is most meaningful?
* What do I enjoy doing the most?
* What activities bring me the most passion and energy?
* What are my true priorities?
* What is the deepest purpose I would like to express in my life?

Write down the answers to these questions. Just reading this is not going to cut it.

Find a quiet space and take 15-20 minutes to really answer these questions. Spend some time and really think about what brings you joy and happiness in your life. Reflect back on your life and write down the answers that come to you.

.2. Environment..

You see, you occur to people a certain way. The way you see yourself may be different than the way others see you. The way you occur to others is a reflection of your inner self.

The people in your life are reflective of your way of being. They see things that you don’t. The clues to finding purpose in life can be found in the people that are closest to you.

Consider 5 people in your life that are close to you: your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or other important friends or family members in your life. Sit down with them and ask them these questions:

* What do you think comes most naturally to me?
* What do you think are my special talents and gifts?
* What do you think I am really good at?
* What do you think is really important to me?
* When do you find that I’m the happiest and what am I doing?

Again, just reading this is not going to cut it. Write out the answers and review them. Compare the answers you received from the introspection method to the environment method, then look for patterns.

* What are the similarities?
* What patterns do you see?
* What qualities, character traits and values seem to be repeated over and over again?

This is a clue. Your patterns are an indication of what is unique and special about you.

.3. Natural Ability, Not Skill..

When looking for answers, consider natural ability and not skills. Skills are those actions that you’ve perfected over time; they’re external and not necessarily unique to you. Skills are important to executing a well crafted life purpose but are secondary to natural ability.

Look for natural ability; this comes from the inside. Everyone’s got it - you’ve got it. Your natural ability is an act of creative contribution that ignites you. It’s natural to you because it’s part of who you really are. Look for natural ability when examining your life with the questions above.

.4. You’re Inspired..

When you’re inspired, your “in spirit,” and spirit is who you really are. Inspiration is the act of expressing that which is within you.

Again, your environment is a reflection of who you are. Consider the people, mentors, heroes and superstars in your life that are an inspiration. The reason they are inspiring to you is because you see some of yourself in these other people.

When I watched Rocky II recently it really touched me. It really stirred some strong emotions in me; emotions of love, passion and purpose. I love the Rocky movies because they demonstrate the power of the human spirit and the human heart. And that’s what I’m all about. My purpose is to teach and inspire others to love and live life by following their hearts desires.

What is your purpose? Consider these questions:

* Who are some of your heroes and what is inspiring about them?
* Who are the teachers, coaches or mentors that inspire you the most?
* Which movie stars, musicians or performers are inspiring to you?

Again, it’s all about recognizing the patterns. Look for those areas in your life where you see a common thread. These are the clues to realizing and finding purpose in life.

Author's Bio
You know how some people are unhappy, wasting time and energy married to their job? What I do is provide coaching and tools to help people take the right steps towards a new career or business.


by Stephen Martile
Article from selfgrowth.com

Would You Like to Stop Worrying about What Others Think?

Do you often walk away from people thinking, "Did I say the right thing?"; "Did I offend someone?"; "Should I have said or asked...?"?

Do you frequently hear that "little voice" in your head saying, "What will they think?"?



Do you often feel you need to be a certain way, and you can't just be yourself?

Most people are concerned about what others think about them, and many say and do things just to get the approval of others. These thoughts and behaviors seem to be so much a part of who we are and are so common in others that we assume that they are just part of being human.

However, you can eradicate these thoughts and behaviors forever.

How? By eliminating the beliefs that cause them. Although this problem can be caused by different beliefs in different people, there is one specific belief that anyone with this problem almost certainly has: "What makes me good enough is having people think well of me."

Today I'm going to tell you how this belief is formed, why so many people have it (maybe even you), and how getting rid of this belief will transform your life.

Early in life, many of us form negative beliefs about ourselves, like "I'm not good enough." (Almost every one of the 13,000 clients we've had from 34 countries around the world has had this belief.) Because most parents expect children to do things that are unrealistic for their age (such as be neat and quiet and come when called at the age of three or four), and because most parents get frustrated, annoyed, or angry when their children don't do what they're told, most children conclude "there must be something wrong with me" if Mom and Dad are upset with me so often, or "I'm not good enough."

Because our beliefs about ourselves are usually formed during the first six years of life, most of us already have this belief when we leave our homes and go out into the world of teachers, other kids, school, etc. Obviously a belief like this would make us think as we start school, "How will I get people to like me, and how will I make it in the world if I'm not good enough?"

And those thoughts, in turn, would lead to us feeling "not okay" about ourselves and anxious to some extent.

And then one day a solution appears. We do something that our parents (or perhaps a teacher or coach) like, and they give us a very positive response. How does that make us feel? Happy and very good about ourselves.

The first few times that happens, we feel good but don't make anything of it. And then after this progression of events occurs a few times we conclude: If I didn't feel good about myself, and then after getting praise and/or positive attention I do feel good about myself, what that means is "what makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me."

This is a very special type of belief. It is a belief that tells us what needs to happen in order to experience being okay. And when it doesn't happen, we don't feel very good about ourselves.

Well, if we don't experience being good enough the way we are and we need something outside ourselves to become good enough, how often would we want that outside something to occur? All the time! Any time anyone doesn't like us, rejects us, or thinks poorly of us, we have lost our "survival strategy," our method for making us feel good about ourselves. At that point the underlying belief "I'm not good enough" is uncovered and stares us in the face, leaving us feeling not good enough and producing some level of anxiety.

As a result, the need to have others think well of us is experienced like a drug addiction by many people. When they achieve it, they feel good for the moment, but it's only a matter of time before they need another "fix." At that point they become obsessed about getting it.

There are other "survival strategy" beliefs, such as "What makes me good enough is doing things perfectly"; "What makes me good enough is being successful/wealthy" (Can you see now why some people are obsessed with this?); and "What makes me good enough is taking care of others." And it's possible to have more than one. But based on our experience in our private practice, "having people think well of me" is the most common.

It now should be clear why so many people are obsessed about what others think about them: Most people have the belief "I'm not good enough" (or some variation of it), and "having people think well of me" is the remedy most of us have found to cover up the anxiety that stems from having that belief.

If the obsession about having people think well of us is a direct result of having several beliefs, the way to get rid of the obsession is to get rid of these beliefs.

- By Morty Lefkoe

About the Author:
Morty Lefkoe is president and founder of The Lefkoe Institute. He is the creator of a series of psychological processes (The Lefkoe Method) that result in profound personal and organizational change, quickly and permanently. He created a revolutionary way to deliver his method online that you can sample free by going here.

Your Authentic Self

You are meant to live an authentic life.

A life that honors the depth of who you are.
A life that nourishes your heart and expands your mind.
A life that is unencumbered with what others think.
A life that empowers you to be who you really are.

A life like this may seem out of reach with the pressure we feel from others and life in general.

Maybe you want to take steps toward being "you" again, but you have forgotten who you really are.


The question becomes, "How can I live authentically if I don't even know who my authentic self is anymore?"

Your authentic self is there.

It has just been altered or buried with what others want you to be, what society is telling you to have, trying to make unhealthy relationships work, and the focus on just surviving.

I want you to discover your authentic self once again.

It has been there this whole time.

You have been reminded of it with those common threads that keep popping up. Those thoughts you just can't shake no matter how hard you try.

What keeps "nagging" at the back of your mind—as if it were "meant to be" a part of your life?

What do you "feel" in your heart or your gut that you should be doing?

Generally, there are certain thoughts or ideas that keep recurring throughout our life that refuse to be totally silenced despite our best efforts to be "practical" or "realistic."

Those common threads continue to happen because something is missing in our life. Something that is at the very core of who you are.

And that something needs to happen in your life.
That something is your authentic self.

I find Laura Grace's principles to be invaluable and successful components in experiencing an authentic life:

1.Taking care of yourself- Nurturing your body, mind and spirit must be a priority in your life. Accept that you can only give to others to the extent you are giving to yourself. Putting yourself first is not "selfish," but "Self-full."

2. Dare to be yourself- Strip away the mask and let yourself just "be." Take time to have fun and allow yourself to find humor in being human. Know that your purpose for being born wasn't to live life according to what society deems correct. Your purpose is to discover your true self and live from that awareness. If you resonate to the color violet, then be violet, not brown. I once read a quote from Rabindranath Tagore who wisely asked, "That which oppresses me, is it my soul trying to come out in the open, or the soul of the world knocking at my heart for its entrance?"

3. Give only from the heart- Doing anything out of obligation dishonors both you and the other person, and will only leave you feeling resentful. Do an "inner check" before you say "yes" to anyone. If resistance surfaces, do another inner check. If heaviness or resistance occurs again, trust what you feel and do not commit to something that is not in alignment with your heart.

4. Look inward for your fulfillment, not outward- Within you resides a wellspring of creativity and love. Turn within to become aware of what is driving your needs. Is it because you are feeling unloved, scared or lonely? Practice giving what you want to receive. Extending love, from the heart, is the fastest way to fill any emptiness you may feel.

5. Appreciate yourself- Take time to appreciate how far you have come on your journey. Notice what you have worked through and your commitment to growth and healing. Doing so builds both an inner and outer abundance over time. It will help you to see the glass, or your life, half full rather than half empty.

6. Let go of guilt! No one is harder on us than we are on ourselves. And many of us feel guilty for taking care of ourselves, setting healthy boundaries and saying, "No." Having been programmed to feel responsible for others, we often find it hard to recognize our own needs. Practice dropping any guilt you feel for honoring yourself. Guilt is limiting and crippling and does not serve you. Living an authentic life means being free from what others think. It requires giving yourself permission to live life according to what your heart and soul desires.

7. Become aware of your intentions- If your intention is to be real and congruent, then everything that is not authentically you will reveal itself so you can choose to release it. Spirit will illuminate anything in need of releasing when you set your intention to grow. Yet if your intention is split: pleasing others, wanting one of the Three P's: Power/Prestige/Prosperity, etc., then you will experience the effects of your split-mind thinking and your life will never, ever, be completely fulfilling. Practice purifying your intention.

8. Ask, listen and follow- We need only ask and we will find that our relationships, finances, work, and relationship with our self begin to transform. How many times per day do you ask for help from Spirit? And, how often do you listen to it? And then, what about following what you hear? The amount of inner peace and happiness you experience in your life is directly proportionate to the amount of energy you expend on asking, listening and following the Voice within.

Be willing, right now, to ask for guidance in developing an authentic relationship with yourself. Ask for guidance in releasing beliefs, thoughts and behaviors that do not honor your true essence.

Start with, "Who am I, really? For so long I've based my perception of myself on what others think that I've forgotten who I am. So, who am I, truly?" and, "What steps can I take to live an authentic life?" Finally, be willing to hear the gentle yet firm Voice, and trust what it says.

Such is the life of the authentic soul....

From: Allyson Spellman (Success Coach)

Segment Intending - How To Train Your Mind By Using Intention Segments

by Stephanie Yeh

Our friend, singer and songwriter Chuck Pyle, likes to say, "The mind is like a bad neighborhood--you should never go there by yourself." If your mind hasn't been trained to help you, via methods like meditation, shamanism or NLP, it might really be a bad neighborhood. Our minds constantly absorb thoughts, behaviors, and responses from our environment. These various thought patterns and responses may or may not be in alignment with our goals. Unless we actively train our minds to be responsive to our needs, we may be in for a wild chariot ride (and 6 out of control horses)!

From a shamanic point of view, we say that each person is a spirit with a mind and body. In other words, we are spirit and mind and body are tools that we, spirit, can use. However, just because we have mind as a tool doesn't mean that mind, in its current form, is a good tool for us. The untrained mind is a lot like an untrained animal--be prepared for the unexpected!

Have you ever sworn to yourself (say on New Year's Day?) that you're never going to fall for the wrong kind of mate again? Or you're going to lose 10 pounds this year? Or you're going to... the list is endless. Then what happens? We forget what we've promised ourselves, or we find other priorities that are more important. That forgetfulness is a sign that mind isn't trained to help us with our aims. Mind is doing its own thing.

What Can We Do to Train Our Mind?

Segment Intending, one of our favorite exercises from Abraham-Hicks, is a simple way to train your mind to help you while also accomplishing a lot each day.

How to go about Segment Intending

1. Pick the length of time for your segment. It can be any length of time, but no more than an hour. Thirty minutes or an hour works well. Decide exactly what time the segment will start and end.

2. Decide on your aim for that segment. It could be a list of tasks, a state of being, or both. For instance, you might decide that you will strive to remain light hearted while you return phone calls for 30 minutes.

3. When the segment start time arrives, start your segment with no second thoughts. Put your attention solely on the tasks for that segment and nothing else.

4. If you get interrupted during your segment, you need to decide whether the interruption is important enough for you to stop your segment (for instance, if your boss stops by your office for a chat). If the interruption is not important enough, keep going on your segment. If the interruption is important, make a conscious decision to stop your current segment and start a new one (one centered around the interruption).

Practice doing these segments throughout the day. Each segment is a training period for your mind, and will teach your mind to assist you in whatever you are doing. Segment intending works even better with a buddy, who can help you stay on track and stay focused. Whether you segment intend by yourself or with a friend, you'll find your mind becoming much more responsive to your needs as a spirit. Enjoy!

Stress Management

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”

The students’ answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier.

What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again. We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are ! Able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can. Pick it up again later when you have rested.